Arnold Schwarzenegger...$65,000.00 down payment on Maid's tony digs! Skirt chaser payola!

At the crack-of-dawn this morning, news wires started reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger made a $65,000.00 down payment on the luxury home currently inhabited by his love-child's mother known to her close friends as "Pat".

According to news reports, an initial $60,000.00 was paid upfront on the home valued at $268,000.00.

Just a few months ago, the former Governor coughed up an additional $5,000.00 towards the purchase of the four bedroom home situated in a residential enclave just outside of Los Angeles.

Curiously, one news outlet dredged up an old Television clip of the former bodybuilder, when he appeared in his prime as a contestant on The Dating Game.

One of his quips to the bachelorette has clearly come back to haunt him.

For example, at one point during the course of the show, Schwarzenegger innocently asked a contestant on the other side of the screen:

"What does this expression - Hanky-Panky - mean?"

It means that when you get caught with your dick in the wringer, 'ya pay up, Arnold!

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz

Arnold Schwarzenegger...maid's great tats titillated! Pat's entry-level position!

After the initial shock of the revelation that the former Governor fathered a child with his ex-maid at his mansion in Brentwood, the jokes started flying fast-and-furious on the late-night talk-show circuit, tabloid gossip shows like TMZ, and in the gossip rags at the check-out stand at the supermarket.

"Patty was blssed with great "tats" so Arnold must have had a lot of fun playing with those," one irreverent news outlet joked.

Allegedly, the woman in the center of the firestorm was paid $1200 a week to cook, clean, do laundry, and carry out a hand-ful of chores.

Hmmmmm!

What kind of chores?

Reports are filtering out that the woman in question  - Mildred Patricia Baena - had her sights set on the terminator who was easy prey given Schwarzenegger's weakness for women with big knockers and tight attractive asses.

And, you thought all body-builders were gay, eh?

Not!

Allegedly, the macho chauvinist did not learn that the child was his own, until he was a toddler.

After-the-fact, when the information was first revealed to a surprised Arnold, he apparently did the honorable thing and began to pay for the upkeep of the child.

And then some, apparently.

According to the latest news reports, the child's mother is living in the lap of luxury outside of Los Angeles, in an upscale home which boasts several bedrooms and a swimming pool..

One of the many perks of successfully snagging a big-name celebrity!

I guess you could say that "Pat's" job at the Brentwood home was an entry-level position.

Missionary or doggie-style?

Although photographs of the teen born out of wedlock have not been published to protect the privacy of the young man (for once the media has acted tastefully in the wake of a scandal) insiders say that the love child bears a striking resemblance to the Austrian film star.

No word on whether Arnold's out-of-wedlock son also speaks with a heavy European accent.

Now, that would have been a dead give-a-way, alright!

http://www.thetattler.biz






Spoils of out-of-wedlock Motherhood!

Steroids...headline on use of drugs in Sports misleading? Barry Bonds perjury trial upcoming!



I did a double-take bright-and-early this morning when a headline in the daily caught my eye.

Believe it or not, the caption read:

"Players to testify on steroids"

Huh?

Was the reporter who penned the feature insuating that a posse of Sports figures were going to testify in court while "on" (under the influence) of body-and-mind-altering steroids?

Actually, no.

I expect that to save space, the quickie headline was drummed up by either a sleepy editor - or a sly cheeky one - who thought no one would sit up and take notice!

Not moi!

In all truth, the feature article revealed that a handful of athletes would be called to testify at the upcoming Barry Bonds' perjury trial, in respect to the alleged widespread use of the magic muscle-pumping formula that has become pablum for a galaxy of professional ball players on-and-off the field.

If not, I expect, the unsuspecting lug-heads will be tested at the door of the courtroom when they either enter (or exit) the legal proceedings.

Ouch!

Stay clean, fellas.

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Miracle boost for aging athletes?

CRUNCH...state-of-the-art gym in West Hollywood!

 

Exercise work-outs on tap!

I woke up this morning and my muscles were racked in pain.

Ah, that was a good sign!

My work-out last night did the trick and got me moving in the right direction body-wise.

Over the years, I have always endeavoured to keep in shape.

But, over the course of the past six months - things have been so hectic - that I let my gym membership slide!

Now, I am paying for it.

Until this week, when a couple of "trial offers" flew into my mailbox from a couple of the local body-building palaces.

As I noted in a post a couple of days ago - a 7-day free week at Gold's - was just a scam to get me in the door so their salesmen (and sales-ladies) could hit me with some fast-talking jive, and thus, manipulate me into a long-term contract at the trendy outlet on Cole (Hollywood).

Needless to say, I passed on that sleazy outfit.

Post:  12/18/10

http://ijulian.blogspot.com/2010/12/golds-gymfree-pass-scam-consumer-alert.html

In contrast, it was smooth sailing when I sauntered into CRUNCH on Sunset Boulevard in WeHo to take a gander at their free trial offer.

Once I handed off a coupon I downloaded from my Yahoo mailbox, they waived me inside.

"Enjoy your work-out. We'll talk at the end of the week," a Manager beamed with no strings attached.

You got me at "hello"!

In fact, I was impressed with the lay-out of the gym right off-the-bat.

In spite of the fact CRUNCH has been a mainstay in the neighborhood for quite a few years, I didn't spy any worn carpets - or run-down work-out equipment - in a two-level environment that screamed out "class".

The black wall-to-wall floor mattes - which cushion and pamper underfoot - complement the state-of-the-art machines that are crafted in slate grey with cobalt-blue highlights.

And, the upbeat mood-elevating music piped in to the environment by a discerning hip DJ is a plus, too.

A bank of treadmills and cycles on one end of the facility is situated just below a row of wide-screen television sets so that members (and guests) may keep up on the news, or their latest episode of a comedy hit, as they burn off calories and get in shape.

By the end of the invigorating work-out - just betcha - most dudes will plop down in the steam room (or sauna) for a relaxing moment or two as well.

Two thumbs up!

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