Showing posts with label Duchess of York. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Duchess of York. Show all posts

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Royal Wedding...Dress Rehearsal for Prince William & Kate! Fancy fruit cake, please!






 






They say:

“Life is not a dress rehearsal.”

However, there are specific occasions when dazzling overwhelming high-profile events require them.

So, that is why there was a big turn-out across the big pond in London yesterday, two days before the Royal Wedding of this - or any century for that matter - revs up!

In anticipation of the much-ballyhooed union of two star-crossed lovers – starring Prince William and Kate Middleton front-row-and center at Westminster Abbey – Queen E2 and her handlers (and a large contingent of Windsors and Middletons) purred around the bustling downtown streets in luxury limos (to essentially trot the gauntlet along the route of the wedding motorcade) to ensure that the Royals get it "just right" tomorrow when the future King of England ties-the-knot with his pretty love (kiss-me-Kate).

Abba, Elton John and his boy-toy - and a posse of others - will have to get to the church in their own sweet time without much help from Officials at Buckingham Palace on the other hand.

Meanwhile - Tony Blair, President Obama, and the Duchess of Pork – um - York - need not fight the crush of traffic since the trio of high-profile personalities won't be attending.

Uh-huh!

All snubbed.

Will there be any missed cues or late entrances?

While the blushing bride is expected to utter up - "I Do" - don't expect Kate to gush that she'll "obey".

According to insider scuttlebutt, the future Princess exercised her right to editorial control, alright.

On the sidelines, Dave Letterman and Jay Leno are expected to toss a jibe or two on their highly-rated talk shows Friday night, in the aftermath of the media bonanza.

Especially when it comes to the official wedding cake.

Although the spokesperson for the Royals took great pains to characterize the frothy-looking multi-tiered cake as a rich delicious treat waiting to be served up with a lot of "wow" factor at the chi-chi after-party, the truth of the matter?

The crown jewel of pastries is basically a fruit cake, all tarted up, nothing more nothing less!

However, for the kiddies (the younger hipper set with a sweet tooth or two not inclined to hanker to tradition, gee whiz), there will be a tasty chocolate crisp yummy sure to go down smoothly with a dash of milk, chilled bubbly, even a brewskie!

At press time, roving reporters were still hovering the crowded terrain at a fever pitch, still anxious to get first dibbs on a publicity still sure to nab millions!

A shot of Kate's designer frock to be worn to Westminster Abbey for the ultra-tony social event of the year would be a mighty coup for any self-respecting paparazzi worth his weight to snap up.

Bet your sweet bippy, that even if the pricey gown doesn't make an entrance early on the world stage - that within minutes of the breathtaking reveal - trendy rip-off designers in the rag-trade will be rustling up cheap knock-offs to flog to commoners anxious to don for their own romantic day of wedded (eternal?) bliss.

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz





Can Wills & Kate top Lady Diana's Royal Wedding?

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Royal Wedding...1900 elite guests await plain wrapper invite! Prince Harry to rehab?








Royal Couple prepares for wedded bliss!






The latest word out of Buckingham Palace is that invites to the much-anticipated Royal Wedding (die-stamped in gold and decorated with gilded edges) - undoubtedly the fairytale social event of the year - have been discreetly mailed out in pale brown envelopes by regular post.

According to insiders (who choose to remain anonymous for fear of being cast out) 1900 guests - in good standing with the Queen and the fresh-faced young couple - have been given the nod to attend the prestigious Wedding Ceremony at Westminster Abbey on April 29th.

Apparently, Fergie - the Duchess of Pork (er- York) - has not been invited (contrary to previous up-to-the-minute news flashes fired off by frenzied media types hungry for gossipy tid-bits on U.S. shores).

To official Royal observers keeping track of the slights on the sidelines - the end scenario for the scandal-ridden former better-half of randy Prince Andrew - comes as no surprise.

"Would you invite an ex-wife to a wedding," one crusty old cynic snidely joked in response to urgent press queries in recent days.

Some of the elite few expected to attend (friends of the Prince, his bride, and her family) include members of the military (a handful of Will's colleagues from the Royal Air Force, for instance), obedient foreign diplomats, European-born Royals (in-laws, for starters), and welcome down-to-earth folks who have toiled faithfully for a handful of worthy charities that the Royals support.

Inquiring minds want to know if Elton John - once a close confidant of Lady Diana - will be granted the rite of passage.

Kanye West (who performed at a 2007 tribute for Prince William's mother) may be a shoe-in, though.

After all, Prince William has been pining for a dazzling hip crowd to be in tow - or so say - my sources.

Are the back-biting cads to be believed?

No doubt - QE 2 - will have the final say.

By the way, the grand old Dame will be tossing a luncheon for 600 hand-picked guests, at Buckingham Palace.

No to be outdone, Prince Charles has elected to also spring for a chi-chi soiree, at which 300 are expected to toast handsome Prince William and his pretty young bride.

By then, the dust probably should have settled on Prince Harry's "wild stag",  I expect.

In view of his dishevelled appearance in the wee hours of dawn just a scant few days ago, can rehab be far behind?

News at 11!

http://www.thetattler.biz





Royals stripped bare in glare of spotlight!